A Walking Contradiction

I suppose that’s what I am. A perfect walking contradiction.

I’m sorry! I don’t mean to second guess and contradict everything I say, everything I do… It just – comes. I don’t suppose it’s nice at all, to say “HEY I’m so happy that I got A1 for SCIENCE!” (I didn’t in truth, by the way – it was an example) and then go “Lol… actually I’m not.” But I just do. I don’t know why. Fine, I do. (SEE! I contradict myself again! Of course, this is not edited, but still…) I know why. I’m just… contradictory. Naturally contradictory (and that is contradicting too). I’m sorry!

I don’t suppose… that it makes any difference whether I am or not though. But I am. I’m really sorry. (I’m really sorry, and so am I really glad about it too… T.T) I just can’t stop. I just can’t stop contradicting myself. Of course you don’t see that in my formal writing, it was THOUGHT OUT and then EDITED and then FILTERED. The original piece of work… would be totally “Yes, I do” followed up with “No I don’t.” I’m sorry!

I don’t mean to be like that. I’m sorry. I never meant to be contradicting and second-guessing myself all the time… I never did. But I am. Sorry.

(I told you, I have NO IDEA COMPLETELY about why I’m writing this and saying I’m sorry over and over again. It just felt right. Sorry that my rational mind argues all the time, then. 杨严尘好惨哦…)

VONNE

P.S. I love all of you. I really do. (:

P.P.S. It was completely impulsive of me, really, although I do mean it. I don’t know WHY, though, I have to continuously do this…

P.P.P.S. Just to illustrate the seriousness of the problem, I actually DO know why.

T.T

P.P.P.P.S. Please don’t think I’m crapping away – I may be, of course, but apparently I meant to mean something in this post – There is really something I want to say.